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triad47


Sep. 20th, 2014 02:18 am Feeling..

Feeling crappy has never felt so good.

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Sep. 5th, 2014 11:35 pm Databases..

Databases. Databases. Databases. Come to papa.


I got a weird phone call from Hex. It went like this.

me: "Hello..?"
Hex: "Hi."
me: "What's up?"
Hex: "I got a weird message from you and wanted to see if you're okay."
me: "Was it a text message?"
Hex: "No on Facebook, a one-word thing. I just got nervous."
me: "Ok..no I didn't send you anything. And yeah I'm alive."
Hex: "That's.. ideal."
me: "Yeah I'd rather be alive than dead. Course if I was dead I wouldn't be around to know it."
Hex: "Well, I have to go now. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

Weird. My mind would like to explain it, but I have no idea. I don't think we're even friends on FB anymore. Couldn't get a clear response on what the message she saw was. Things are weird today.

I suppose it's one of life's minor mysteries.

In other news the football season is mere days away. Well it's already here but ya know.

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Sep. 5th, 2014 09:13 pm The Anatomy of a Conversation

The anatomy of a conversation. The anatomy of a conversation. The anatomy of a CONVERSATION.

Every word, phrase, sentence, has structure. Meaning. A place. A tool. A stroke.

Misplace it and it's empty, a blank canvas with a ill-placed streak. A Mona Lisa gone awry. Every canvas has potential. It's why I stare at my canvas for minutes before making a move, but it's not a canvas, it's an email box on online dating. I can't wait for artistic inspiration before merely expressing what is inside. Because that connection takes time. It is art.

People look at me and what do they see? Who knows but I know what I see.


A struggling artist. Putting strokes on paper than no one will see. I'm simply no Picasso or even an average amateur. I am merely a painter who paints what he sees and feels. I want it to be beautiful, to express something in particular the audience can connect with. But awaiting inspiration is far removed fro my skill set.

I wish for the times of old. The times when sparks were flying and painting were painting and our paint bottles fell and mixed and colored water splashed onto a new horizon. We didn't care. Our art was beautiful. It was easy. Inspiration just came. I didn't see myself as an artist because I forgot what I was doing was art.


That's what real artists do.


I look at my blank canvas and wonder how people can do this in real-time. I need my space. I need my motivation. I need. To be me. Is that not beautiful enough?

The tides of art pull strongly, it's hard to keep going when you haven't created something you're proud of in a while. You forget you're capable of it.


You forget anyone appreciates your work.
You forget you appreciate others'.


I will try to create my version of the Mona Lisa. One word at a time.

So say we all.

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Sep. 5th, 2014 08:47 pm Ride

Biking in the rain, listening to tunes. I could do that all day long. But the moment was right, the clouds came, rain spent, the waters of the day still draining from the pavement. Few cars were out, the ones that were had stories. Water drops falling down the sides. Each with a story.

I sped by, weaved in an out. Figure eights, or infinities as I like to think of 'em. A lady walking her dog. Palm trees dripping rain.


Bark has seen better days, but the coolness here for the first time landed itself an opportunity. To ride..

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Sep. 5th, 2014 06:13 pm Success!

I made a XCode Template that successfully moves files into Groups and the Data, View, and Controller files. Yes!

I feel like I haven't accomplished anything in the past two weeks. Finally a tiny something.


Now to figure out databases for my game.. something I should have started two weeks ago when I got distracted by the Core Data route. Ugh. I feel so slow, helpless, and tiny. Ha. I wanted to be almost finished with the data part of my game by the time I left Florida. But alas, progress is slow but steady.


KEEP FOCUS. Keep going. The future is now.

SQLite, here I come.

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Sep. 5th, 2014 02:58 am lunatics

Holy crap did I just get a reply from an online dating site? I've only sent 20 messages. Thought it would take 80 more.

Nah, don't get your hopes up. A message is meaningless. Just a spark in the dark out of thousands that usually lead nowhere. It's fun but nothing to get excited about.

Dating is a journey and a full-time job. You can last longer if you don't expect much. Deal.


I chatted with Alexa from art school randomly. Out of the BLUE. She's passionate about some sort of issue with media and gender representation.


Worked on my app today. More like worked on figuring out how to print out Core Data. For like what, three days straight now? Gah, why can't they make it easy? I'm this close to posting on StackOverflow and it's driving me bonkers. I should just let up and do SQLite, because I kinda want to port to Android anyway. But I'm SO CLOSE to getting print statements working for Core Data.

SERIOUSLY CORE DATA PEEPS IF IT'S SO GREAT WHY CAN'T YOU PRINT OUT ENTITY DESCRIPTIONS? WHY GO THROUGH THE HOOPS OF HOURS AND HOURS OF CODE JUST TO PRINT SOMETHING OUT? Freaking lunatics.

There. That was building up. How was I able to manage programming without going berserk?

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Sep. 3rd, 2014 03:33 am Ten books. Because it's the thing these days..

Ten books.

1. The Great Book of Amber (Nine princes. A missing king. Amnesia. A sprinkling of magic and myth and you have this masterpiece.)

2. Fahrenheit 451 (not because of my namesake, but the metaphorical wordplay)

3. Ender's Game (the theme of the bully vs the bullied feels so realistic it's scary)

4. Ender's Shadow (how can the same story from another character feel like such a different experience? Bean rocks.)

5. Ship of Theseus (Those handwritten notes in the margins are "characters" outside of the story yet fictional. It's so meta. And those newspaper clippings and postcards found between random pages make them seem even MORE real.)

6. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (Feel like a kid again.)

7. Travels with Charley: In Search of America (You feel like you're with them.)

8. The Glass Castle (Even better because it's true.)

9. Imzadi (The best Star Trek novel. Would have been the best movie if they made one.)

10. Looking for Alaska (The college life you wish you had, until that one part, and even then you kinda wish it.)

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Sep. 3rd, 2014 03:11 am On the Redskins Name..

I've always wanted to write my thoughts on the name controversy, but never had the right words. I guess I was afraid of sounding insensitive or offending someone, but I think I was just confused. I was really angry at something missing and now I know what. Dubious media coverage is to blame. It really has not explored the issue in a way that encourages intellectual discussion and open debate.

Anyway here are excerpts of my replies on articles:


The term Redskins originally had positive associations and was used by Native Americans to refer to each other, if my research is correct. The term "white" and "black" is used today and although I do not use them, I do not infer racial slurs from them. The term "Redskins" was always associated positively with an NFL team when I was growing up. I had no idea it was considered a racial slur, nor had I ever heard it used to refer to a person. I only associated it with the team. This does not mean it never was nor that it can be associated with that, but I do not hear the term being used that way. Does this mean the usage has changed? Or did it simply gain an additional meaning? Can a word have two meanings - one negative and one positive? Can a meaning change over time? Does it matter if it is offensive to some? To one? Two? A thousand? In the previous generation but not the current? Can it become more offensive or less offensive over time?

I am not familiar with how it was used offensively and though I don't doubt it has been in the past, but I have to say doing research on how the term was used is very different from experiencing it in daily life. The news is very lacking in this basic thing. If it's offensive show us instances on how it is used offensively. Don't just say it's offensive and rely on polls. We can poll vague perceptions all day long. Show us examples in movies, books, news stories, interviews. Interview Native Americans to share their stories on how they view and experience the term. We'd probably get a mix of things. We need this and not empty debate on "oh yes it's soooo offensive duh" or "no it's not meant to be offensive so let's use it." We cannot judge random opinion. We can relate to personal stories.

It's impossible to measure "offensiveness" or -a more general term- "meaning" because everyone has a different perception. Based on experience, communication, etc. Even these news reports can help change meaning based on perception.

+The Term 'Blackskins' or 'Whiteskins' might sound..Collapse )

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Sep. 1st, 2014 09:34 pm How long can YOU survive in the vacuum of space? Take this quiz!

How long could you survive in the vacuum of space?

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Aug. 31st, 2014 11:45 pm Moss

Skins keep Santana Moss! Yus!

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